Buttons

Scene: Morning in a slightly hairy family room.  The TV is off and Momma is sitting on the sofa, reading the news on her smartphone, muttering to herself. Big Dog Chunky and Little Dog Bucky are sleeping on the sofa to either side of her.

Momma: (incoherent mutterings)... button’s bigger than his… what the… (more incoherent mutterings)...

Big Dog Chunky: Momma, what’s ‘buttons’?

Momma stops reading the news.  She smiles at Big Dog and scratches his ears.

M: Oh nothing baby. These two important guys have scary buttons that could hurt a lot of people if they press them, and they’re comparing whose is bigger and more destructive.

BDC: Why would they want to hurt people?

M: I don’t think they really want to hurt people. They’re just posturing, like Bucky does sometimes when he sees another dog on our walks.

Little Dog Bucky’s eyes open and he looks at momma intently.

Little Dog Bucky: Walk?  Did you say walk?

M: I was just talking with Chunky about buttons, and goofballs who care about their size and destructive power.

BDC: Can we take the buttons away?  I like my people. They have treats and ear scratches.

LDB: Treats? (LDB sits up and continues to stare at M).

M: No treats, you just had breakfast. We’ll have treats later.

BDC: Treats?

BDC sits up and stares at M intently. LDB sits up and stares at M. M is sandwiched between two sitting, staring dogs who really want to go for a walk, and/or eat treats.

M: No treats guys. Jeez. Lay down and we’ll do a walk soon, okay? Let me finish reading this…

BDC and LDB look at each other then at M.

LDB: Walk?!

BDC: Yeah, walk!? Maybe we can walk to these buttons and chew em up so no one can use em. Maybe?

M: These kinds of buttons don’t work like that, baby, but yeah, let’s go for a quick walk.

Momma gets up and heads to put her coat on. LDB and BDC slyly smile at each other.

BDC (whispers): It worked!  Walk time!

LDB (whispers): Yeah!  And let’s look for buttons big brother! They sound like jerks.

BDC (whispers): Momma said they’re sorta like you, so yeah, big jerks.

LDB: Hey!  You’re the jerk!

The dogs wrestle with each other on their way to the front door, where the leashes are.